My mother in law

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My mother in law

Postby Bev » May 7th, 2013, 1:57 pm

Just one month shy of her 99th birthday, my mother in law passed away last night at 9pm. She lived a good long life and was deeply loved by all her family. For me, she held a special place in my heart from the very first time I met her. She loved me in a way no other has, and I will always so fondly remember her.

There is one story I can share that might convey just how she was. We were visiting during Thanksgiving one year, and I had chosen the living room sofa to sleep on one night. Very early the next morning, still half sleeping, I felt my mother in law (the only one awake) take my hand in hers. I had my arm over my eyes, and my hand was extended out above my head. She held it for just a moment, then let go and went into the kitchen.

She often would say to me, "it's not normal for a mother in law to love her daughter in law." :D

RIP Ma.
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Re: My mother in law

Postby GregB » May 7th, 2013, 5:56 pm

My sympathies for you, Bev. She sounds like a remarkable lady - how good to have such a special place in the heart of a person like that as you clearly had. Passing is always sad, but what a good long life she had.

What a delightful visitation in your anecdote.
"We have more knowledge than those who came before us not because of our greater intelligence and understanding, but because we are dwarves sitting on the shoulders of giants who preceded us."
- Bernard of Chartres
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Re: My mother in law

Postby Pondero » May 7th, 2013, 8:03 pm

She had a "good innings" Bev, (that is cricket terminology) and I am sure she is resting in peace. She loved you and that is good. That is what family is all about.
You have my deepest sympathies in your loss.
We live at a time ...characterized by a subliminal relativism that penetrates every area of life. Sometimes this relativism becomes aggressive, when it opposes those who say that they know where the truth or meaning of life is to be found. Benedict XV1.
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Re: My mother in law

Postby Bev » May 7th, 2013, 8:59 pm

Thank you Greg and Pondero. I spent part of the day booking flights, hotel and rental car. Twice now in a month I'll be flying into La Guardia airport and then traveling to West Haven, CT. We'll be leaving here Thursday morning.

She did live a good long life. It was really only the last year she began to slowly descend--sometimes getting family members confused. When I visited her two weeks ago, she seemed to recognize me. She asked me where Bob was, and she asked if I lived there now. It was a good visit, and I'm so grateful I was able to see her one last time.

My sister in law told me her passing was very peaceful, and she was surrounded by family.

Her funeral is Friday. It will be a private, Catholic funeral.
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Re: My mother in law

Postby Sweet Peace » May 7th, 2013, 11:46 pm

My condolences, Bev. I also have been blessed with a very wonderful mother in law. Your news has reminded me to get in touch with her.
Peace to you and your family. :hug:
Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound.
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Re: My mother in law

Postby different glory » May 8th, 2013, 12:18 am

Thank you, Bev, for sharing the story of that lovely moment of a loving hand-holding as you lay half-asleep. Such an action, and such a story is a real gift -- from her to you, and from you to us. It lifts the heart to feel it, just one fragment of many years of love.
And for you and the family, real sympathies; it is a hard, hard thing to lose someone who loves you. Grace and peace be with you all, as you readjust to a world without her.
That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works. - Psalm 26
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Re: My mother in law

Postby Bev » May 13th, 2013, 1:56 pm

Thank you all for your kind condolences. Bob and and I got back home last night after several days of travel, either by plane or by rental car. My oldest, Chris, flew into La Guardia an hour after we did. He wanted to come. Even though he was not her blood-grandson, she always loved him as if he was. The whole family did too. So, it was very special to them that he made the trip. He ended up being one of the pall bearers too. (He was nine when we first became a part of their family.)

Pondero, you would have liked the service. It was a Catholic mass. The priest had the slightest Irish accent, and his homily was comforting focusing on why we should not be sad and on the importance of memories now. He was so kind and genuinely sympathetic to the family.

For so many reasons, I must have said "It's the end of an era" or "things do change," a hundred times.

On the good side, our visits with the families there seemed magical with grown kids in the mix making it all feel as if nothing has changed in thirty years. That was a very special gift from God, I believe.
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