Jokes

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Forum games, jokes, stories or pictures ...

Re: Jokes

Postby Sprocket » December 16th, 2017, 1:33 pm

MRSA - lead singer from the Smiths.
Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason?
Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
Sir John Harington (1561-1620)
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sprocket » January 14th, 2018, 3:46 pm

What comes between fear and sex?

Fünf.
Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason?
Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
Sir John Harington (1561-1620)
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Re: Jokes

Postby GregB » June 4th, 2018, 1:50 pm

Well, a joke in the shape of a TV commercial for Silk Cut cigarettes from 1979, when suffocating nanny-state laws still hadn't got round to banning adverts for tobacco products. It's not up to the level of the brilliant Armstrong & Miller 'Hitler has only got one ball' sketch, but it's not bad for all that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqKvToVTih8
"The wiles of dissembling fate afford us the illusion of freedom, yet in the end always lead us into the same trap."
- Jean Cocteau
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sprocket » June 20th, 2018, 11:04 am

I was sure cig adverts on TV had been banned long before '79. Maybe it was a cinema ad, if they weren't banned there.

https://flic.kr/s/aHsmk6C3KX
Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason?
Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
Sir John Harington (1561-1620)
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Sprocket
 
Posts: 16166
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Location: Hemel Hempstead, Herts.

Re: Jokes

Postby Lyn » June 20th, 2018, 11:29 am

That's lovely!
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Re: Jokes

Postby GregB » June 20th, 2018, 8:25 pm

Sprocket wrote:I was sure cig adverts on TV had been banned long before '79. Maybe it was a cinema ad, if they weren't banned there.

If they were banned there, where else would it have been shown? (Correct about TV advertising, though.)

Silk Cut were advertised as low tar cigarettes. The healthiest ones are those when someone offers you a fag and you say, "No ta!"
"The wiles of dissembling fate afford us the illusion of freedom, yet in the end always lead us into the same trap."
- Jean Cocteau
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Re: Jokes

Postby Lyn » June 21st, 2018, 1:03 pm

I have memories of smoking Silk Cut and thinking they were, if not healthy, more healthy than other fags.
There were other cigarettes (not nec. 'healthy', which were fashionable in my youth but I can't really remember them. No6 maybe. Girls used to buy ten No6 when they went out! 'Them' was the days.
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Re: Jokes

Postby GregB » June 22nd, 2018, 3:38 pm

I remember Player's No. 6 as a former smoker (gave up around 1975.) Short cigarettes and therefore probably (marginally) healthier than the increasingly encroaching king size brands. For a time, I smoked (untipped) Capstan Full Strength, guaranteed to stain your fingers nicotine yellow after the first few packets and put you unwittingly on the inexorable road to a cancer ward in the days when smoking wasn't associated with lung cancer.
"The wiles of dissembling fate afford us the illusion of freedom, yet in the end always lead us into the same trap."
- Jean Cocteau
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Re: Jokes

Postby Lyn » June 22nd, 2018, 7:26 pm

Not just lung cancer, all sorts of lung and heart problems. My dad was a heavy smoker who died of pulmonary embolism.
Ah well, we all gave up hopefully in time.
I want to think of a joke but can't atm, over to all others.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sprocket » June 24th, 2018, 4:01 pm

A drunk staggered into a Chinese Takeaway by mistake instead of the newsagents next door, and asked for twenty Number 6. He left with ten pounds of Special Fried Rice.
At the second attempt, he went into the library by mistake, and staggered up to the desk. "Twenty Number Six, please!, he said in a loud voice. "This is the Library!", said the assistant. Oh, sorry, he whispered.Twenty number six, please.
Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason?
Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
Sir John Harington (1561-1620)
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Sprocket
 
Posts: 16166
Joined: October 25th, 2007, 11:21 am
Location: Hemel Hempstead, Herts.

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