Jokes

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Jokes

Postby Sprocket » November 5th, 2007, 9:59 am

Tell us your favourites.

here's one for starters:

Bloke goes to a fancy-dress party with a naked woman on his back. The host says "what have you come as?". The bloke repies "a tortoise." The host says "why have you got a naked woman on your back?" The bloke replies "that's Michelle".
"I'm fucking busy, and vice versa" - Dorothy Parker.
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Re: Jokes

Postby floopowder » November 5th, 2007, 12:21 pm

Steve that is TERRIBLE :mrgreen:
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sweet Peace » November 6th, 2007, 12:11 am

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sprocket » November 6th, 2007, 10:12 am

"My dog's called 'Locksmith'".
"Why?"
"Because whenever I kick him up the arse, he makes a bolt for the door."
"I'm fucking busy, and vice versa" - Dorothy Parker.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Val » November 6th, 2007, 10:18 am

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, Well, I can clearly see you're nuts :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: geddit see your n..tz :rotfl: :rotfl:
I am who I am, your approval isn't needed
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sprocket » November 6th, 2007, 10:39 am

Two psychiatrists meet. One says "You're fine - how am I?".
"I'm fucking busy, and vice versa" - Dorothy Parker.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Val » November 6th, 2007, 10:41 am

An ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands.




He topped himself :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
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Re: Jokes

Postby Val » November 6th, 2007, 12:03 pm

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?
Well, says the vet, let's have a look at him So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, I'm going to have to put him down.

What? Because he's cross-eyed?




:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

No, because he's really heavy
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sweet Peace » November 6th, 2007, 12:12 pm

I like the way you told that. :grin:
Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Episkopos » November 6th, 2007, 8:15 pm

Val wrote:A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?
Well, says the vet, let's have a look at him So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, I'm going to have to put him down.

What? Because he's cross-eyed?




:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

:rotfl:

No, because he's really heavy


excellent
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