Jokes

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Re: Jokes

Postby GregB » March 11th, 2017, 8:14 am

I heard about a bloke in the Great War who went into action carrying an axe. He was always splitting herrs.
"The wiles of dissembling fate afford us the illusion of freedom, yet in the end always lead us into the same trap."
- Jean Cocteau
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Re: Jokes

Postby Pondero » April 27th, 2017, 11:21 pm

Here is one dated August 13th 1993, from the Toronto Star and is a strip four section cartoon entitled Doonesbury.
Doonesbury is listening to a television broadcast where the US President of the day is being interviewed by the Press.


Press:. Mr President, with chairman Rostenkowski under a cloud , aren't your plans to move a health-care bill through his committee doomed?

President: Well I'm not sure it is right to count Danny out yet, he's still doing a whale of a job for us....
Besides we have a system of justice that says a man is innocent until proven guilty. Let's give that system a chance to work.

Press: Sir, will you be visiting the chairman in jail?

President: No, but I'll feel his pain.
We live at a time ...characterized by a subliminal relativism that penetrates every area of life. Sometimes this relativism becomes aggressive, when it opposes those who say that they know where the truth or meaning of life is to be found. Benedict XV1.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sprocket » May 23rd, 2017, 5:55 am

How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but he might have to go to A&E to get it out again.
Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason?
Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
Sir John Harington (1561-1620)
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sprocket » May 29th, 2017, 8:57 am

The most popular make of car in South Africa is the Nissan Madela.
Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason?
Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
Sir John Harington (1561-1620)
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Re: Jokes

Postby Pondero » September 19th, 2017, 11:04 pm

President Trump addressed the United Nations today.

Here is part of his serious address.

"Rocket man is on a suicide mission for himself and for his regime."

:grin: :grin:

EDITED to include the full quote.
Last edited by Pondero on September 20th, 2017, 10:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
We live at a time ...characterized by a subliminal relativism that penetrates every area of life. Sometimes this relativism becomes aggressive, when it opposes those who say that they know where the truth or meaning of life is to be found. Benedict XV1.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Lyn » September 19th, 2017, 11:27 pm

Didn't know he was an Elton fan.
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Re: Jokes

Postby Lyn » September 19th, 2017, 11:35 pm

Sprocket wrote:The most popular make of car in South Africa is the Nissan Madela.


:D Is that true Sprock?

I don't get your sig, please explain? In SE and parts of SW (eg Brixton) London, a BMW - usually white or black - is colloquially known as 'Black Man's Wheels' for obvious and other reasons. In other parts of London no-one would understand that!

They are lovely cars, very reliable and smart. BMW also make the Mini Cooper S which is a beautiful, rather expensive, small car, quite trendy.
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Re: Jokes

Postby GregB » September 20th, 2017, 7:22 pm

Pondero wrote:President Trump addressed the United Nations today.

Here is part of his serious address.

"Rocket man is on a suicide mission for himself"

:grin: :grin:

Here he comes!
http://cdn.tn.com.ar/sites/default/file ... et-man.jpg
Didn't know he was an Elton fan.

Number one!
http://www.betootaadvocate.com/wp-conte ... eeches.jpg
"The wiles of dissembling fate afford us the illusion of freedom, yet in the end always lead us into the same trap."
- Jean Cocteau
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sprocket » September 21st, 2017, 9:52 pm

:D :lol: What a horrible sight!
Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason?
Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
Sir John Harington (1561-1620)
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Sprocket
 
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Re: Jokes

Postby Sprocket » December 8th, 2017, 5:57 pm

"Mum, why is my sister called Teresa?"
"Because it's an anagram of Easter, and I like Easter."
"Oh. Thank you for explaining that."
"You're welcome, Alan."
Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason?
Why, if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
Sir John Harington (1561-1620)
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Sprocket
 
Posts: 15964
Joined: October 25th, 2007, 11:21 am
Location: Hemel Hempstead, Herts.

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